One Donut Shy of a Relapse

True confession time! Here I was….merrily going along without so much as ONE donut from Sept. 9 to today, the 17th. That’s eight days, my friends. More days than I’ve probably ever gone in recent history without the familiar solace of my glazed amis. Oh man, but did I blow it. I guess I could blame it on the phone call from my son who casually mentioned that it was only 3 days before he and his wife would be flying out of the country for what will probably be at least 3 years abroad. That’s usually enough to send me reaching for empty calories. But it was probably more of a combination of the fact that I feel like I’m coming down with a cold, I only got 4 hours of sleep last night, and it was already 2 hours past my lunch time and I was hungry. So I elbowed a lady away from the donut case and plopped five, yes…..FIVE donuts into my shopping bag, paid and headed out the door. And I ate every single one. To compound the sin, I ate them while reading the latest issue of “Christianity Today.” Is that a double sin? I guess in my twisted way of thinking, if I had eaten a full half-dozen, this would count as a relapse of the worst kind. But, since I was actually one donut shy of a half-dozen, I’m considering this only a temporary blip on the dietary radar and getting back into the saddle (Whoa, Nelly!)

I’m apparently not alone in singing the diet blues. On Monday, I went to my weekly diet group’s meeting. Weigh-in wasn’t great (I’d gained, but not too badly). However, when it came time for confession, it was soon apparent that there were quite a few of us who had gained. When the final tally was given, it was something like a total weight loss of 7 pounds and a total weight gain of 22+ pounds. Ouch!

Our instructor is really trying to get us motivated, bless his heart. He read us a list of warning signs that you have a problem with food. One of them was “You’ve eaten in the dark.”

“Eaten in the dark?”, someone said. “Why would someone ever eat in the dark?”

Someone else piped up, trying to be helpful. “Well, how about when you eat popcorn in a movie theatre? It’s dark in there.”

“I’ve eaten in restaurants that were so dark you might as well have been eating in the dark. You couldn’t see the food,” added another member.

“Well, I’ve eaten in the dark,” confessed my friend. “I’ve eaten in bed at night. And sometimes I sit in front of the TV at night and don’t turn on the lights and I eat while I watch a show.”

“I’ve got you all beat,” I announced. “Have you ever eaten in a toilet stall?”

They all swung around to look at me. “Why would anyone want to eat in a toilet stall?”, said the girl sitting across from me.

I shrugged. “I used to go down the hall and stand in a toilet stall to eat Reeses Peanut Butter Cups at work when I didn’t want anyone to know I was cheating on my diet. The only problem was that inevitably I’d get stopped by someone on the way back who would want to chat and I had peanut butter breath.”

They all hooted. “That takes the cake,” someone shouted.

“Naw, I never took one of those into the bathroom.”

Our leader was shaking his head. He could tell it was going to be one of those nights.

On a positive note, I got two wonderful skeins of yarn in the mail today from one of my favorite online vendors, http://www.theloopyewe.com/
The Loopy Ewe. Both skeins are from Creatively Dyed Yarns and the colors are just gorgeous. The one on the left is the “Bubblegum” colorway. It’s a sockweight yarn in her yarn line called “Luxury” which is 80% Merino, 10% Cashmere, and 10% Nylon. The other skein is a vibrant red that just glows. It is in the colorway “Salsa and the yarn line is the same as I just described. I’ve decided that these colors are just too beautiful to hide in my shoes. I think I’m going to have to get more of the yarn and make some shawls out of it. What do you think? The woman behind this great yarn, Dianne, comes up with the colors from memories of her birthplace Trinidad and Tobago. I can’t wait to get more of her yarn.

OK, that’s all for today. I’m back on the “Do-NOT eat donuts” wagon. Guess I’ll go find some cardboard to chew on.

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2 Responses

  1. You are so funny. I’ll admit that I’ve eaten in the dark, in the kitchen after the big guy has gone to bed. Sneaky.

    I love the two yarns you got. The red one is right down my alley. I think they would make beautiful shawls, sweaters, or socks. Anything in the red family is all good.

  2. You said:
    “I guess in my twisted way of thinking, if I had eaten a full half-dozen, this would count as a relapse of the worst kind. But, since I was actually one donut shy of a half-dozen, I’m considering this only a temporary blip on the dietary radar …”

    Uh … okay … I guess.

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